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Satire, an archetype invented by Roman poets, has promised to revert to taking a backseat role with effect from Friday. This will allow satirists to resume control of a vehicle that was threatening to nullify itself by creating real world conditions so ridiculous that it had become increasingly difficult to mock them.
In recent months, Satire had gone into overdrive, first creating a fictional character called âDonald Trumpâ who would pretend to campaign to be the worldâs most powerful man by making clearly preposterous, self-contradictory and impossible statements, but then ensured that he might actually win. Once that joke had soured, he switched to the UK.
âItâs been brilliant,â Satire said. âFirst I whipped up an entirely unnecessary referendum, chucked in some grotesque stock characters and got an overgrown blonde c***d to pretend to be for one side when he had been for the other just months before. I encouraged him to do just enough to get an honourable defeat, only to have him win so that his school chum who had been ruling the country had to resign. Then, I arranged for his weird sidekick to stab the c***d in the back, only to get chucked out in turn.â
âThen â and this is the really good bit â I created a demonic female figure to emerge from nowhere and threaten to take over, only to collapse after making stupid comments about a second, slightly less demonic female figure and let her win instead, even though she thought much the same as the first man about the original problem, which wasnât really a problem at all.â
âOh, and the comedy buffoon who started all this despite no-one taking him seriously gets to disappear too. All the while, when logic says that the opposition should be taking advantage, Iâve arranged for a clown leader to bumble about ineffectually while an eagle tries to peck at his liver. Have I got that right? Iâm losing track myselfâŚâ
Having completely exhausted himself, Satire has now agreed that reality can now become normal enough for alternate versions of it to be obviously exaggerated, thus giving embittered writers something to do again. âPerhaps you could take on the bit where angry thugs scream abuse at third generation immigrants, genuinely thinking they now have to leave the country?â he suggested. âIâve been struggling to get a funny angle on that one.
In recent months, Satire had gone into overdrive, first creating a fictional character called âDonald Trumpâ who would pretend to campaign to be the worldâs most powerful man by making clearly preposterous, self-contradictory and impossible statements, but then ensured that he might actually win. Once that joke had soured, he switched to the UK.
âItâs been brilliant,â Satire said. âFirst I whipped up an entirely unnecessary referendum, chucked in some grotesque stock characters and got an overgrown blonde c***d to pretend to be for one side when he had been for the other just months before. I encouraged him to do just enough to get an honourable defeat, only to have him win so that his school chum who had been ruling the country had to resign. Then, I arranged for his weird sidekick to stab the c***d in the back, only to get chucked out in turn.â
âThen â and this is the really good bit â I created a demonic female figure to emerge from nowhere and threaten to take over, only to collapse after making stupid comments about a second, slightly less demonic female figure and let her win instead, even though she thought much the same as the first man about the original problem, which wasnât really a problem at all.â
âOh, and the comedy buffoon who started all this despite no-one taking him seriously gets to disappear too. All the while, when logic says that the opposition should be taking advantage, Iâve arranged for a clown leader to bumble about ineffectually while an eagle tries to peck at his liver. Have I got that right? Iâm losing track myselfâŚâ
Having completely exhausted himself, Satire has now agreed that reality can now become normal enough for alternate versions of it to be obviously exaggerated, thus giving embittered writers something to do again. âPerhaps you could take on the bit where angry thugs scream abuse at third generation immigrants, genuinely thinking they now have to leave the country?â he suggested. âIâve been struggling to get a funny angle on that one.
8 years ago
