Trans Problems

I've experimented with hormones off and on now for a while and I know that I'm transgender. The hardest thing in the world is accepting that no matter what I can't have 100% certainty that this is what I want to do in life because nothing we do is that certain.

I can't figure out what is worse, living your whole life not being who you are, or accepting that this is what you are and face the road ahead.

Both are hard, living a lie for someone else is torture and being your true self can cost you everything. :[
Published by xEmily09x
8 years ago
Comments
51
Please or to post comments
CD-TVnearVernon
CD-TVnearVernon 5 years ago
This is a very hard decision we have in our lives. MMMM I have chosen to tale the middle road, although for good reason. Back in 96/97 I was determined to find out about this other side of me. I was in Vancouver at the time and I found a Trans drop in center which was set up and run by a psychiatric  nurse of which I quickly found out that she was 14 yrs Post op. I spent over a year there and at one point it took me 6 months to figure out and decide that I did not want Gender reassignment surgery as I liked what I had. It took 6 months cuz I carefully thought the issue out from every angle  so as to verify to my satisfaction  that I had come to the right conclusion. I did do so and I have never looked back and have no regrets whatsoever. It took me years to finally settle down and decide to live on my own and that was was a new beginning for evolving much more again with no regrets. I have totally accepted myself since spending over a year at the Trans drop in center and have slowly evolved ever since. I now choose to live at home dressed casually as a female and at time dressed not so casually when I feel like it. I have had many good friendly experiences for 20 years now and seem to evolved more, which is likely the way it is meant to be. I wish all the best out there reading this./Jesse
Reply
cum69er 6 years ago
To be happy, you have to be yourself no matter what. Even if it’s hard on you sometimes. Forget the others, cause if they really love you, they’ll accept who you really are and love you no matter what. If they don’t, then screw them. I hope you’ve found your way since. Live your life with love and love will come to you... friends, family, lover. Kiss from Canada
Reply
AliceandMadHatter
AliceandMadHatter 6 years ago
I know this was a year ago, and you have since started taking hormones again per your profile but I'm still leaving this comment. A person who truly loves you will love you as you no matter who you are. My husband knows he can tell me anything and as long as it is true I will accept it. A family member recently revealed herself to our family and some were trying to tell her who they believed she was or wasn't. She began to doubt herself. I asked her if she had those doubts before she revealed her true self, and she did not have any doubts. It was other people who began causing her doubt. Sometimes shutting out others and their reactions is all one needs to do.
Reply
Artofmiss
Artofmiss 7 years ago
Issues shared are issues halved.
Reply
Unsure
Unsure 7 years ago
I could write a long dissertation about this subject.But I won't.I personally like living in both worlds.Take a look at this if you have time.

https://xhamster.com/photos/gallery/6424020/111492497
Reply
tonicdtony
tonicdtony 7 years ago
EGGACTLY !!!
Reply
latexlove1968
latexlove1968 7 years ago
Hi sweety.
It can be hard to keep secrets to yourself, when you really wanna be who you are, i know that feeling.
I look at it this way, don`t know if this can help you out, but i love to keep my little secret, being a CD all for myself and it most of the time keeps things more naugthy.
When i play with my toys or my daddy, it turns me on to know, every one should just know what i was doing.
If i wanna live out my CD-dreams, i doing it in different cities and vacations, never in my own town.
I really hope you find your place in life and there will always be sacrifices to make, some understand and others don`t.))
Reply
paladin779
paladin779 7 years ago
I Love You, Sweetie!!!..
Reply
4play916 7 years ago
well i think it's more spiritual than physical. in some cultures people like yourself are believed to have 2 souls. male being your physical soul and the female that makes for your consciousness.
Reply
nickkynoi 8 years ago
Good Luck!
Reply
German_amateur 8 years ago
All the best for you !
Reply
letmeaste
letmeaste 8 years ago
True friends will accept you for who you are, even when you're not quite sure. It's taken me a long time to be comfortable with many things, but I feel lucky I've got friends who understand. xx
Reply
warmtitenjuicy
warmtitenjuicy 8 years ago
All I can say Emily is,it's your life! You do what u wanna do! Fuck what society thinks! You're amazingly beautiful and extremely sexy! That's all you need! I'm sure any 'normal' man would literally jump at the chance of bedding you! I know I would! In a flash! xx
Reply
bert180
bert180 8 years ago
Amen sister. Keep strong and follow your dreams and your heart. Much love to you. If you need to talk, PM me. Amanda. X
Reply
MasterArt
MasterArt 8 years ago
my son is trans... has been on hormones for 2 years now...I knew when she was 10 that he was gay...then at 14 she told me she was transgendered....so he is now happy....don't live a lie...Live your life as the person you want to be...
Reply
Joithjfan
Your beautiful baby inside and out
Reply
creepyr
creepyr 8 years ago
To thyne own self be true
Reply
chrissixts
chrissixts 8 years ago
true story
Reply
blade136 8 years ago
It must be very difficult. Nothing in life is ever guaranteed, that is true. You must look within to find what you really desire. You are young and have a long life ahead, you deserve to be happy. Good luck with your decision.
Reply
richb84 8 years ago
The fact you know that you're transgender, answers the question for you..
Just be who you are, the people that really care for you will understand... the people that don't, whilst it may be hard you need to let go!
And it won't cost you everything.... because being yourself is everything

PS you are beautiful :smile:

Rich xx
Reply
Artofmiss
Artofmiss 8 years ago
baby we are on a giant ball of dirt flying through space, there is little time, spend none of it wasting time thinking and follow your heart and heat. your gorgeous, let it shine.
Reply
strappcpl 8 years ago
I can't figure out what is worse, living your whole life not being who you are, or accepting that this is what you are and face the road ahead.

So, you are on the verge of making a choice then. Compared to the average population, TG people are more likely to: Be unemployed, live below the poverty line, be homeless, commit suicide, be abandoned by their family. I am sure the list goes on and on.
I cannot recall the author, but the line "Most men lead lives of quiet desperation' comes to mind. No thanks. Going to die some day. Not looking to collect a bag of regrets.
Your post is well written. You are obviously an intelligent person.
Anything that makes you different from the 'Status Quo' causes people problems. Being left handed, being short, being tall, having an accent different from the local dialect, being of different ethnicity. Anything. Be like us or you are not one of us. People don't accept others that are different because they are afraid. If they accept the outcast then they risk becoming an outcast. Guilt by association.
I hope that you decide to choose the life that works for you. We all deserve to be happy. Just don't expect everyone else to be happy about your choices. I think you owe it to yourself to be who you want to be. Best Wishes
Reply
AgniIshtarPeh
AgniIshtarPeh 8 years ago
You most certainly stand in a very difficult place. Trans people face a very tough road, even more than openly gay people, in the 21st century... Recently a comment made by a close female friend who is supposed to be into the idea of racial/sexual equality for everyone shocked, and even hurt me a little. If you are looking for people who you can talk to and open up to, without having to worry about them having selfish ulterior motives... feel free to send me a message. Probably the most that I can do is listen and give you support.
Reply
Missybitv
Missybitv 8 years ago
Sadly that is true. Hopefully society will someday improve. Just know there arer people who care and love you for who you are.
Reply
coopertown 8 years ago
Best of luck, thanks for sharing.
Reply
ifLower 8 years ago
to D8181 : Oh yes, and even gays thickly don't understand us...
Reply Original comment
dkguy333 8 years ago
You're very right, we basically can't be sure of any choices. Our personalities are mysteries and consequences are not always clear. But of the parts of yourself you see the clearest when you look inward, you can direct yourself. I think it's important to try to be who you want to be, but also to let yourself be who you are. I hope you are successful in both. Best wishes from me.
Reply
imperiodefata
imperiodefata 8 years ago
our need of consolation is always insatiable ... but at least we should try to touch some happiness. i hope u can reach your seconds of paradise.
Reply
jubelum
jubelum 8 years ago
I would love to talk to you about this. I think I can help you. PM me if interested.
Reply
newbie893
newbie893 8 years ago
Wish you the best in either choice
Reply