No longer a virgin...

So I just wanted to let you guys know I lost it finally. I met up with a random guy on Sunday night who is literally twice my age. He's 41 and single. I went to his house only for oral. (I wasn't going to go over but I smoked and got high in my room and weed makes me very horny so that's why I ended up going to his house lol) We were both naked and I felt his dick rubbing over my pussy lips. I felt it later on that the tip was starting to go in and I let it happen. I figured it's only the tip and he wasn't getting far in because I was ridiculously tight. Then I started to feel the tip actually getting inside me and inch more in. I started to object but he told me it's fine and to just let it happen. He put his whole body weight on me so I couldn't really move. Part of me was numb at the realization at what was happening. The other part of me was excited and turned on. I laid there confused at emotions because this guy is taking my virginity without my permission...why is part of me okay with it? Finally once he got a little past the tip in I really started speaking up and made him get off and out of me. He laid next to me and said if I'm having him stop to preserve my virginity then it doesn't make sense because his dick has partially been inside me. So even though he wasn't fully inside me it didn't matter. I was no longer a virgin because I dick has been inside me. I laid there and absorbed his words and realized he was right. He said if I want to stop because I'm really not into it then he won't continue but if it's cause I'm trying to preserve my virginity, it's now gone and we might as well continue. I thought about and I was really curious and he felt kind of good inside me so I said it was okay for him to continue. The rest of the night was spent him getting further and further into me with breaks here and there because it would start to hurt at times because he is big. Like maybe 7 inches and thick. We ended the night with him starting to pound into me which was great for like the first minuet but then started to hurt so we stopped and called it a night. We did it missionary but attempted doggy(didn't work out) did the whole legs together in the air but I was already so tight that attempting that made it so he could barely get inside me lol. We tried other ones to but ended up sticking with missionary and my legs wide on his shoulders. Since those were one only positions he could actually get inside of me. There were points where I was so wet I could feel my pussy juices leaking down my legs. At times during our breaks I'd go to blow him and his dick would be drenched in my juices. He ate me out like 5 times. He made sure I was soaking wet before he tried sticking anything in me haha. He did apologize after for doing what he did without my initial permission. He said he didn't plan on it but we were both naked and I was so wet and his dick was right there he couldn't help himself. Part of me believes him and the other part doesn't. Anyway, it was half pain and half pleasure for me the whole time. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I wasn't even sore the next day. He said my pussy took his dick like a champ since I was so tight and he's so big lol anyway I'm on my period now so I'm probably going to fuck him again after I'm off of it. We've been texting. Before anyone ask, we did it raw. He did not cum inside of me. I actually didn't see him cum at all. He probably finished himself off after I left lol. He knows I'm not on the pill so I made sure when he was pounding (I could somehow tell he was close) I made him get out of me, partly from pain but mostly to make sure he didn't cum inside me. As far as I know there was no pre cum inside of me because I sucked and licked that off while blowing him. I let it happen raw because I find the idea of raw to be hot but afterwards talking to girlfriends I realize how stupid I was because he was a stranger I literally just met so I should have used protection. I told him until he gets tested if we fuck again we have to use condoms. He swears he's clean but I need medical proof lol I didn't tell my friends the full part about him kind of holding me down with his body weight and telling me to just let it happen when I started objecting because I know it's not okay what he did. Please please do not ever force a girl into having sex. I still don't know how I feel about it. I'm kind of ignoring that whole fact especially because part of me liked it but a major part of me was scared with not knowing what to do. I don't want any other girl put into that type of situation. My situation is like a freak one. Since I'm still talking to him and planning to go over by him again. But... Do not. Do not. Do not. force yourself upon nor inside another person. I just wanted to share the news and part of the experiance with you guys since you guys are a part of this community I've joined. Have a great day guys :)