Introduction

We put an ad on Craigslist, neither of us knowing what to expect. The responses were many, though few of the men who answered bothered to read the specific criteria we had outlined. There were some good prospects, but also many whose approach was to say “I’m not at all what you’re looking for but please give me a shot!” We realized quickly that an intricate screening process had to be in place. We built this process not with a latent fear of bad people, but rather the awareness that most put their best foot forward, and it would be take some time and effort to discern who people really were, after the introductory masks had been shed.

I feel with our first encounter, we hit the lottery. After some email correspondence, we moved to talking on the phone. After that went well, he invited us to come by his work and say hello, just so he could meet us. We were nervous, but felt this invitation was a sign of good will. We would have been much more cautious with someone who was obviously not willing to provide any details as to who they were and the kind of private life they led. Though the mystery of a complete stranger can be exciting, it also introduces a world of possibilities for things to go wrong in many different ways.

After this initial meeting, we were all stoked. He was happily surprised at my wife, pulling me aside and saying ‘OMG dude she’s SO HOT!” I felt an immense sense of pride. My wife is amazing, and I take delight in the fact that, as I tell her all the time, “..everybody wants to fuck my wife” We scheduled a second meeting the next night with a plan to do nothing more than hang out, have a few drinks and get to know each other. This dinner meeting went fantastic, and at its conclusion, we decided to meet again the next night, and if we were all stilling feeling positive, we would move the party back to our house. The second meeting went splendid, and I smiled and said, “Well, hey, honey….why don’t you ride back with him in his car so you two can get some alone time and Ill follow.” It was exciting having my wife in another man’s car, knowing what was coming; knowing what his intentions were toward the love of my life.

When we arrived back at the house, we sat on the sofa and chatted, and though the air of excitement was thick, I also perceived a nervousness on the part of both my wife, and the Bull. I discerned after a few moments that this wasn’t going to be something I could wind up and let go. My role as the leader of our marriage; as my wife’s provider and protector suddenly was needed in this situation as well. I initiated a game of truth or dare to get the ball rolling and have fun while taking some steps forward. I don’t remember the exact progression of the dares, but I do know that I dared my wife to take her top off, to touch his cock etc. I remember very clearly, however, my wife sitting on the sofa, looking at me as it was my turn. She asked “Truth or dare?” I chose truth. She smiled, her soft white hand on his black cock which was growing as she touched it, “Do you want me to fuck this guy?” “Yes.” I said. With that, the floodgates opened, and I saw a bloom of my wife’s sexuality I had never seen before. It was like someone had been playing tennis with a c***d, me, thought they themselves were a pro. Suddenly, I was asked to sit out and let the pro play with another pro, and watching two people so sexually skilled made it clear I was an amateur.

My greatest fear in the fist experience was regarding how well I really knew myself. I had fantasized about this for so long, yet I was aware that sometimes fantasy is only powerful as fantasy, and when it becomes reality, it can miss the mark of the dream by a great distance. For example, I fantasize about pullling off a big, creative bank heist like in the movies and moving away to an Island in Tahiti. In reality I know there are levels of complexity to this scenario that would most certainly end in misery, not with a Hollywood sunset.

My two biggest concerns were “How would I feel once it was actually happening? Would I get jealous and angry…..realize I didn’t really want it?” and “How would I feel the morning after. After having had a chance to sleep on it.” As I grabbed my camera and began to film this first encounter, I was shocked. I expected there would be at least SOME tinge of jealousy, but the only feelings were arousal and exhilaration. In addition, I was overwhelmed by a sense of peace and fulfillment. The thing I had wanted so desperately for two years of marriage was finally a reality: My wife, my beloved, the woman of my dreams was receiving the sexual pleasure she deserved and craved and I was not able to give her.

The next morning, I woke up happy. I was surprised again to greet my wife as I do every morning, with a kiss, and I love you today, and a cup of coffee. As I looked at her, I didn’t see someone who “slept with another man last light” but a sexual goddess whose bright and beautiful light had tragically been hidden behind society’s expectations. I loved my wife before it happened, but she suddenly looked complete, and the atmosphere of our marriage was an air easier to breathe. We were so in love before hand, and I have no idea how long, perhaps forever, we could have gone not knowing that there was a better way. We found it, however.



My wife teases me that my brain is my worst enemy. I have the ability to take simple things and break them down into a faceted complexity that can sometimes be exhausting. It is said, however, that often our greatest liability can be our greatest asset. I cannot calculate the hours of my life I spent exploring the many conceptual angles of this lifestyle, and reconciling them with my upbringing and beliefs. I’m grateful that I miraculously found the courage to share my fantasy with my wife, and grateful to her that she made it a reality. I tell people often, in all sincerity: I feel this has made our marriage stronger and brought us closer together.