Lunch conversation
I met up with a friend from high school I haven't chatted with in years yesterday. She has been married pretty much as long as I have to a man I also knew back then. Eventually the conversation led to the topic of marital sex. While I find I would love to divulge what has occurred in my own over the last 13 years, I couldn't trust that she wouldn't share it with other people we know in common unfortunately.
Since age 20 she has had a monogamous relationship with who she chose to marry. She found while she felt their sex life would be considered normal if not better than average for a couple married for 30 years in that they were having sex much less often than they did in their twenties the once or twice a week was a healthy amount. She thought of her husband who she certainly seemed to be still in love with was an "adequate" lover who put in the effort. She admitted that she faked orgasms sometimes but felt this is what all wives do and felt generally happy with what she had. He's in home and in her bed every night so he's conveniently available.
What I did take from this conversation was this. While some people I interact/chat with on here seem to think my sex life is "wild" I generally have sex about as often. The difference being I have been having it lately with 3 different men. The first 5 or so years when I started having sex with men other than Greg I did go a little "wild" and for lack of a better term embrace my "inner slut" and made up for lost time that I felt I missed being married so young. At first I sought out men that seemed comparable to who if single I would be dating. Likely close to my age who weren't ugly or too fat and probably white. Men who fit a profile based on the idea that they would find me attractive enough to be a couple in public. I met them on Adultfriendfinder where I could at least find guys at least as hung as what I have had which was a bit over average. Some were OK others were duds.
There were many young fit hung men who messaged me (one named Mike in particular) and Greg asked me about 6 months in why I don't agree to meet with them. My first thought was I couldn't believe such men could really find me and my body appealing enough when we met and that this would affect my self esteem somehow and told Greg that. He laughed and told me I couldn't be more wrong. "Don't be silly they'd love to fuck you Kate." They might want girlfriends they think will impress their buddies but you'll give them a hard on just as good as chicks their age". Being 38 and a little chubby I found this hard to believe but Greg was once a 20 something guy so maybe he was right. So I finally responded to Mike on AFF and invited him to our place rather than a public bar or where ever. It only took a half an hour of chat before we were taking our clothes off and Greg was right this 5' 11" fit man 13 years younger than me had a raging 9" hard on and fucked me right there in the living room in front of my husband. Well that changed everything and there was no going back.
Compared to my friend quality more than quantity is what I want in the sex I have. She has no idea what she is missing.
Kate
PS Another thing Greg pointed out to me (He may think this way being a man) is that if I am going to go through all the hassles involved in meeting strange men online I should be self indulgent. "You don't owe any of them anything" "they're getting no strings sex". Those who have and do "what it takes" will be rewarded. I will be happy to be their slut and they will give me what I want. I get the impression my friend settles for "quickies" with her hubby rather than go for what would truly be on her mind after the experience. That's not enough for me anymore.
Kate
Since age 20 she has had a monogamous relationship with who she chose to marry. She found while she felt their sex life would be considered normal if not better than average for a couple married for 30 years in that they were having sex much less often than they did in their twenties the once or twice a week was a healthy amount. She thought of her husband who she certainly seemed to be still in love with was an "adequate" lover who put in the effort. She admitted that she faked orgasms sometimes but felt this is what all wives do and felt generally happy with what she had. He's in home and in her bed every night so he's conveniently available.
What I did take from this conversation was this. While some people I interact/chat with on here seem to think my sex life is "wild" I generally have sex about as often. The difference being I have been having it lately with 3 different men. The first 5 or so years when I started having sex with men other than Greg I did go a little "wild" and for lack of a better term embrace my "inner slut" and made up for lost time that I felt I missed being married so young. At first I sought out men that seemed comparable to who if single I would be dating. Likely close to my age who weren't ugly or too fat and probably white. Men who fit a profile based on the idea that they would find me attractive enough to be a couple in public. I met them on Adultfriendfinder where I could at least find guys at least as hung as what I have had which was a bit over average. Some were OK others were duds.
There were many young fit hung men who messaged me (one named Mike in particular) and Greg asked me about 6 months in why I don't agree to meet with them. My first thought was I couldn't believe such men could really find me and my body appealing enough when we met and that this would affect my self esteem somehow and told Greg that. He laughed and told me I couldn't be more wrong. "Don't be silly they'd love to fuck you Kate." They might want girlfriends they think will impress their buddies but you'll give them a hard on just as good as chicks their age". Being 38 and a little chubby I found this hard to believe but Greg was once a 20 something guy so maybe he was right. So I finally responded to Mike on AFF and invited him to our place rather than a public bar or where ever. It only took a half an hour of chat before we were taking our clothes off and Greg was right this 5' 11" fit man 13 years younger than me had a raging 9" hard on and fucked me right there in the living room in front of my husband. Well that changed everything and there was no going back.
Compared to my friend quality more than quantity is what I want in the sex I have. She has no idea what she is missing.
Kate
PS Another thing Greg pointed out to me (He may think this way being a man) is that if I am going to go through all the hassles involved in meeting strange men online I should be self indulgent. "You don't owe any of them anything" "they're getting no strings sex". Those who have and do "what it takes" will be rewarded. I will be happy to be their slut and they will give me what I want. I get the impression my friend settles for "quickies" with her hubby rather than go for what would truly be on her mind after the experience. That's not enough for me anymore.
Kate
11 months ago
