First time, when twelve …
It is not a simple listing when I think about my sexual motivations and desires. It draws on a lifetime of experiences, both good and less good.
Looking back, I was gay before anything else. My first experiences had been with my male first cousin, he lived only a block away and was a year younger than me. That started when another older male in our neighborhood took us out in a schoolyard field and started talking about sex, and encouraged us to remove our shorts and show each other our cocks, hairless probably as neither of us had reached puberty. I am sure he watched and may have jacked watching us, i don’t remember.
I do remember figuring out how to masturbate myself. I would use the same motion that you would use to make a PLay-Doh snake, rolling it back and forth between your palms. I enjoyed it, it was new and I had to show my cousin what I discovered. Somehow, when I was showing him he couldnt quite enjoy it like i did, and without his insistence I remember bending over him on his back and sucking his cock. I sucked it until he came. I loved that feeling, the taste, the smell of him and also the power i had over him. All that summer whenever we were alone he wanted me to suck him. I rarely asked for the return, I didn’t care, I liked the arrangement as it stood. During the whole time, neither of us talked about any guilt or embarrassment. While we kept it as our secret it was also precious and special for both of us.
I never felt with girls and later women the enjoyment i felt with men. In high school I was never a sports k**, i tended to be closer friends with the cheerleaders and the plainer girls, the artsy ones., the nerds. One sport I did do was wrestling, not on the team as much as one of my male classmates and I would find a corner of the gym, set up some mats, and wrestle. It was intense and yet I never felt it was sexual, but I think that showed my naivete and innocence. I think several of the other guys saw it differently. I do remember that never in four years did I get naked and take a shower after gym
Looking back, I was gay before anything else. My first experiences had been with my male first cousin, he lived only a block away and was a year younger than me. That started when another older male in our neighborhood took us out in a schoolyard field and started talking about sex, and encouraged us to remove our shorts and show each other our cocks, hairless probably as neither of us had reached puberty. I am sure he watched and may have jacked watching us, i don’t remember.
I do remember figuring out how to masturbate myself. I would use the same motion that you would use to make a PLay-Doh snake, rolling it back and forth between your palms. I enjoyed it, it was new and I had to show my cousin what I discovered. Somehow, when I was showing him he couldnt quite enjoy it like i did, and without his insistence I remember bending over him on his back and sucking his cock. I sucked it until he came. I loved that feeling, the taste, the smell of him and also the power i had over him. All that summer whenever we were alone he wanted me to suck him. I rarely asked for the return, I didn’t care, I liked the arrangement as it stood. During the whole time, neither of us talked about any guilt or embarrassment. While we kept it as our secret it was also precious and special for both of us.
I never felt with girls and later women the enjoyment i felt with men. In high school I was never a sports k**, i tended to be closer friends with the cheerleaders and the plainer girls, the artsy ones., the nerds. One sport I did do was wrestling, not on the team as much as one of my male classmates and I would find a corner of the gym, set up some mats, and wrestle. It was intense and yet I never felt it was sexual, but I think that showed my naivete and innocence. I think several of the other guys saw it differently. I do remember that never in four years did I get naked and take a shower after gym
1 year ago