I am losing myself, I can't stop
I am losing myself, it scares me but I can't stop.
I have been training with Master Big Iron now for several months. While we haven't met in person yet he has been pushing my boundies and testing me.
I have been in chastity for months, and my clitty is getting smaller. With his permission I have been servicing 2 local Daddys.
The first Daddy is from the gym I go to. it is a small gym with maybe 30 to 40 members, mostly older men. Gym Daddy is in his late 50's and married, but i suspect he isn't getting enough at home. I was wearing my chastity device and he saw it in the shower stall as he showered across from me. He chuckled at me and I know i turned deep red, he continued to watch me shower as he rubbed his cock, I was so embrassed as I tried not to look but I ended up standing there trembling slightly as he stroked himself off. Once he was done i slowly finished and went out to change, my towel covering my device.
he is just finished dressing and smirks at me as he rubs against me walking by. I was shakng from shame and excitement. since that time we have moved to me sucking him off in his car after each workout. He is a little rough and loves to degrade me while i service him. I fel he's taking out his frustrations with his home life with me.
The Second Daddy is a coworker, I won't go into details of how we got to me servicing him, but lets just say I let some things slip and he realized that I was a sissy. He is in his 40's and also married, his wife also doesn't give him what he wants at home, he told me this several times. I service him almost daily when we are at work, so far its just been oral but I am hoping for more.
Big Iron (Daddy) has been keeping me chaste and I am not permitted any orgasms without his permission, as you can image this has made me incredibly horny and needy for any type of release. Daddy has allowed me to sissygasm a couple times, in oct. and once in nov. but otherwise no touching at all. The few times he has allowed me to sissygasm for him he has listen on the phone and degraded me mercilessly, this made my sissygasm incrediablly intense, to the point of me hardly being able to move for several minutes after and to have wonderful after shock feelings for hours. He knows every button to push to make me cum hard.
It makes me feel wonderful but i am also afraid of how easily controled I have become. I am not sure I could refuse Daddy anything at this point, he has been wonderful and understanding. I have gone from having just purged everything, when we met to being a complete cock hungry sissy. I can't stop thinking about cocks and cum, of all the nasty things I want men to do to me. I know Daddy is helping me become a better sissy, and has my best interests at heart, its still scary.
I still have these bouts with purging (Daddy is helping me through) and I always feel a deep shame after I service a man, or have a sissygasm. If you read my first post you know that I need and crave that shame ( I know its wierd ). I know many siisy want that shame to go away but I need it so much I have had it so bad that I have sobbed kneeling in the shower in the gym after gym daddy held me by the throat agaisnt the wall and jerked off onto my caged clitty, then spit in my face and let me slide to the floor. I came hands free when his spit hit my face, I knelt there and sobbed in shame as my clitty tried so hard to get erect in my cage. He toweled off while smirking at me and telling me what a disgusting sissy whore I was. ( I had informed him that I needed this kind of treatment) I don't think I was more turned on, except for when Daddy is degradeing me, there is something about Big Iron doing it that makes it more intense.
I have been training with Master Big Iron now for several months. While we haven't met in person yet he has been pushing my boundies and testing me.
I have been in chastity for months, and my clitty is getting smaller. With his permission I have been servicing 2 local Daddys.
The first Daddy is from the gym I go to. it is a small gym with maybe 30 to 40 members, mostly older men. Gym Daddy is in his late 50's and married, but i suspect he isn't getting enough at home. I was wearing my chastity device and he saw it in the shower stall as he showered across from me. He chuckled at me and I know i turned deep red, he continued to watch me shower as he rubbed his cock, I was so embrassed as I tried not to look but I ended up standing there trembling slightly as he stroked himself off. Once he was done i slowly finished and went out to change, my towel covering my device.
he is just finished dressing and smirks at me as he rubs against me walking by. I was shakng from shame and excitement. since that time we have moved to me sucking him off in his car after each workout. He is a little rough and loves to degrade me while i service him. I fel he's taking out his frustrations with his home life with me.
The Second Daddy is a coworker, I won't go into details of how we got to me servicing him, but lets just say I let some things slip and he realized that I was a sissy. He is in his 40's and also married, his wife also doesn't give him what he wants at home, he told me this several times. I service him almost daily when we are at work, so far its just been oral but I am hoping for more.
Big Iron (Daddy) has been keeping me chaste and I am not permitted any orgasms without his permission, as you can image this has made me incredibly horny and needy for any type of release. Daddy has allowed me to sissygasm a couple times, in oct. and once in nov. but otherwise no touching at all. The few times he has allowed me to sissygasm for him he has listen on the phone and degraded me mercilessly, this made my sissygasm incrediablly intense, to the point of me hardly being able to move for several minutes after and to have wonderful after shock feelings for hours. He knows every button to push to make me cum hard.
It makes me feel wonderful but i am also afraid of how easily controled I have become. I am not sure I could refuse Daddy anything at this point, he has been wonderful and understanding. I have gone from having just purged everything, when we met to being a complete cock hungry sissy. I can't stop thinking about cocks and cum, of all the nasty things I want men to do to me. I know Daddy is helping me become a better sissy, and has my best interests at heart, its still scary.
I still have these bouts with purging (Daddy is helping me through) and I always feel a deep shame after I service a man, or have a sissygasm. If you read my first post you know that I need and crave that shame ( I know its wierd ). I know many siisy want that shame to go away but I need it so much I have had it so bad that I have sobbed kneeling in the shower in the gym after gym daddy held me by the throat agaisnt the wall and jerked off onto my caged clitty, then spit in my face and let me slide to the floor. I came hands free when his spit hit my face, I knelt there and sobbed in shame as my clitty tried so hard to get erect in my cage. He toweled off while smirking at me and telling me what a disgusting sissy whore I was. ( I had informed him that I needed this kind of treatment) I don't think I was more turned on, except for when Daddy is degradeing me, there is something about Big Iron doing it that makes it more intense.
3 years ago
