MARRIAGE"AND THE "UNMARRIED
BETWEEN "IMAGINATIONS" AND WHAT "REALLY" HAPPENS: A FEW ISSUES TO KNOW !!!!
#CAUTION: The Post Is Long, Raw, And #STRICTLY For The Unmarried.
This is a marriage recipe for the unmarried. Though I'm not in their league, lol, but I have to be kind to them and carry them along. I can see a lot of them, guys and girls, men and women, boys and girls, praying very fervently to get married to whom they love, because they see that as one of the most important points in their lives. Of course, marriage is a promising event a proven achievement in the art of romantic love and living.
In fact, marriage is full of joys. There is peace, mercy and enjoyment. It's a bliss. You can ask me for more that you would likely enjoy when you get married, and I would tell you. I know much about that. But this is not the whole story. Marriage has many sides. Bad things happen in it. A lot of that. Be warned.
Most of the time when we think of "being married" we tend to imagine us in a paradise where there is no conflict, stress and physical and emotional issues, that in marriage there is no any bad but only good to enjoy. We think of snapping pictures and shopping at stores, dancing and cuddling, hugging and kissing, and playing with babies, especially by women, and enjoying a good meal, having home organised, and a great sleep in bed together, sorry, I just don't want to say lovema mostly by men. We think of marriage as something that finally is going to satisfy our deep, sensual cravings, and to solve all our emotional problems, and nothing more. Wow!
But if this is all that you think of marriage, whether you're a man or woman, you're not only wrong, you're an infant that should not even start to think about marriage. It's not for you. And it's as a result of this infantile imagination of marriage that many marriages are not surviving today. And we need to come to accept this reality that we don't want to even recall let alone to make any change. And it's something simple to do.
Imagine yourself married. Wow! You're happy, huh? Lol! Well, when we're married, we get closer to our sweethearts more than ever before, and things about them become more clearer. What is hidden is now going to be utterly "visible". Your spouse might have hidden that they have "bad" scars on their backs, now you see them. Not this one, they may appear to have some "irritating" spots where you might have never imagined, and what's worse, they may have a smell, or say an odor, that may not be so putrid but which you will never like at all. Things that clothes and perfumes might have prevented you to notice will be apparent now. And you're married, what would you do?
That's very simple. Very simple. But the thing that we usually do which we later find out to be utterly wrong is removing the "human conditions" from the lives of our spouses, that no man or woman can be free from. For the fact that before marriage the man and woman always try to appear as perfect people to each other, in a way that everything about them is always polished, glittering and attractive, we become deluded, believing that even after marriage nothing will change, that my man will always be looking like a prince, handsome and neat, that my woman will remain the beauty of her time, gorgeous and glamorous. What a delusion! I'm sorry to say you're utterly deluded.
Now you're no more dating. You're done with the game of seeking. You're married. Congratulations! You're at home with your "spouse" in your lovely room, full of colourful lights, only the two of you, and BUM, one of you failed to hold his "farting", and it's now out, filling the air with its stinking stench. You look at one another, or one of you just look away, how would you feel? How would you react? Will you just smile that one secret is revealed, or get sad for knowing that he or she also farting like you, something you never knew before?
Mistakes and failures happen anytime, anywhere by anyone, but we expect the people we marry to be perfect, that they always do everything very meticolously. When she brings you water and the cup of water suddenly falls on you, when you come back home, very hungry, but the food is not ready, or the food is ready but it is cold, salty, burnt, or just something bad, how would you react? And when he walks on your feet with his shoes, or fails to bring you a cream you've asked for, or leaves your drawer s**ttered after he finishes using it, or when he brings you an incomplete "cefane" that could be hard for you to make food with, how do you react? Do you reveal your dissatisfaction in rage? But these little wrong things are going to happen, and the worst even, but many of us are not ready to handle them.
In your home, your wife will not always take bath, or dress in a way that you used to see her before marriage. And most of men have been attracted to a woman simply for that reason, that she knows how to dress to please, which means she's a fish, always in water, and like a queen always looking after her body and her looks. But you will come to realize that she is not what you think, she's as simple as your sister at home, some days she won't take bath but very sluggishly, and some days she won't remember to wear any make-up, she's just tired. How would you feel? Would that change your feelings about her? Would that make you treat her less? Or would that even push you to start looking at other girls outside?
Men during courting have a way of dressing and meeting their women, it's always elegant and great. Their girls feel very happy and proud that they have good-looking guys to show. And this doesn't die, these girls carry it to their marital homes, wishing that the guys would never appear less. But it's not happening like that. The wife doesn't take long to be disappointed, because her husband cannot always dress for her. She'll come to realise that the man has so much to do than dressing. Some days, he looks very unkempt. It's a marriage, she fails to understand, not a period of dating and courting when he tries to get her. This is not a justification for the husband to not dress well and look good, but it's only that the wife has to understand that the man can fail to do what she used to expect from him. Will that have to change how she feel about him? Will this be a reason for her to start comparing him with other men? Will she have to be dissatisfied?
Forget all these matters. Not that they're not important. But how will you feel when your spouse spits a saliva on the wall of your bedroom because he or she can't get up; or blow their nose in their clothes, or even smell in an uncomfortable way because of one reason or another? It may seem nothing to you now but you know you don't like things like this. It irritates you. And the person whom you always think is exempted from doing such is your spouse because before you got married to them they never appeared to do that. You all thought it would be ashamed to do that. And now your spouse will do that, again and again.
There are many guys that think the girls they date are NOT going to "toilet" to "p*o" or "pee". They don't excrete at all. Because they think someone so beautiful as my girl can hardly have anything with "toilet". And because we never knew that before marriage, we marry them with that stupid thinking. A lame delusion. And some men feel disappointed when they find out that they have been wrong all this while, that the girls do also go to the toilet, and even disturb the peace of the place, either with their running p*o, or groaning as they try to ease themselves. I'm sorry for being so raw here, there are just some men that easily begin to look down at their wives because of knowing this. And some women find it disgusting when they hear their men make "noisy sounds" in the toilet, and the men don't understand why. And it's astonishing that both of the get dissatisfied over this. Whether it's a man getting disappointed to know his Miss Beauty enters toilet, or a woman finding it disgusting to hear her Prince crying to ease himself, both of them are just wrong.
The problem doesn't lie with the man or woman, but with our perception about one another that's very narrow and unfair. It's all because of our infantile imagination about the people we want to marry, that they must not be anything that we find normal and ordinary, that they should not be fallibe, foolish human beings. The problem lies with us and yet we come to dislike our spouses for being humans simply because before we marry them we never saw, heard or knew much about them.
Well, your spouse will fail. Will cry. Will laugh. Will frown. Even when and where you don't expect them to. Sometimes they can't control. They can smell, fart, spit. Because they're tired of hiding. And they can go to toilet, vomit, and fail to cleanse themselves regularly. Etc. They can do a lot of things that you never got to know about them before marrying them. They will get sad and angry. And they will do so in front of you, whether you like it or not. Rich husband can get broke or even become poor, beautiful wife can look ugly, so so ugly in "look". Things change over time. And all these conditions that are bound to happen are not expected to bring "chaos" and "hate" into a marital life. Of course you may not like the conditions but they're part of the human nature to which we all belong.
And there are two curious questions that bother me alot that, will man really value a woman, or a woman respect her man when they failed to get what they had expected from one another before they got married even when those expectations are not essential to the stability of the marriage? Because, it seems like, in this time, our personalised, selfish "expectations" are what determine the success or failure of our marriages. And is it only the moments of "romance" that hold marriage for a lifetime or there is something else?
I greet you, Mr/Mrs Unmarried, you're special. I pray you marry. Whom you love. Soon. And enjoy it while it lasts. Stay safe.
Deleted
Deleted
#CAUTION: The Post Is Long, Raw, And #STRICTLY For The Unmarried.
This is a marriage recipe for the unmarried. Though I'm not in their league, lol, but I have to be kind to them and carry them along. I can see a lot of them, guys and girls, men and women, boys and girls, praying very fervently to get married to whom they love, because they see that as one of the most important points in their lives. Of course, marriage is a promising event a proven achievement in the art of romantic love and living.
In fact, marriage is full of joys. There is peace, mercy and enjoyment. It's a bliss. You can ask me for more that you would likely enjoy when you get married, and I would tell you. I know much about that. But this is not the whole story. Marriage has many sides. Bad things happen in it. A lot of that. Be warned.
Most of the time when we think of "being married" we tend to imagine us in a paradise where there is no conflict, stress and physical and emotional issues, that in marriage there is no any bad but only good to enjoy. We think of snapping pictures and shopping at stores, dancing and cuddling, hugging and kissing, and playing with babies, especially by women, and enjoying a good meal, having home organised, and a great sleep in bed together, sorry, I just don't want to say lovema mostly by men. We think of marriage as something that finally is going to satisfy our deep, sensual cravings, and to solve all our emotional problems, and nothing more. Wow!
But if this is all that you think of marriage, whether you're a man or woman, you're not only wrong, you're an infant that should not even start to think about marriage. It's not for you. And it's as a result of this infantile imagination of marriage that many marriages are not surviving today. And we need to come to accept this reality that we don't want to even recall let alone to make any change. And it's something simple to do.
Imagine yourself married. Wow! You're happy, huh? Lol! Well, when we're married, we get closer to our sweethearts more than ever before, and things about them become more clearer. What is hidden is now going to be utterly "visible". Your spouse might have hidden that they have "bad" scars on their backs, now you see them. Not this one, they may appear to have some "irritating" spots where you might have never imagined, and what's worse, they may have a smell, or say an odor, that may not be so putrid but which you will never like at all. Things that clothes and perfumes might have prevented you to notice will be apparent now. And you're married, what would you do?
That's very simple. Very simple. But the thing that we usually do which we later find out to be utterly wrong is removing the "human conditions" from the lives of our spouses, that no man or woman can be free from. For the fact that before marriage the man and woman always try to appear as perfect people to each other, in a way that everything about them is always polished, glittering and attractive, we become deluded, believing that even after marriage nothing will change, that my man will always be looking like a prince, handsome and neat, that my woman will remain the beauty of her time, gorgeous and glamorous. What a delusion! I'm sorry to say you're utterly deluded.
Now you're no more dating. You're done with the game of seeking. You're married. Congratulations! You're at home with your "spouse" in your lovely room, full of colourful lights, only the two of you, and BUM, one of you failed to hold his "farting", and it's now out, filling the air with its stinking stench. You look at one another, or one of you just look away, how would you feel? How would you react? Will you just smile that one secret is revealed, or get sad for knowing that he or she also farting like you, something you never knew before?
Mistakes and failures happen anytime, anywhere by anyone, but we expect the people we marry to be perfect, that they always do everything very meticolously. When she brings you water and the cup of water suddenly falls on you, when you come back home, very hungry, but the food is not ready, or the food is ready but it is cold, salty, burnt, or just something bad, how would you react? And when he walks on your feet with his shoes, or fails to bring you a cream you've asked for, or leaves your drawer s**ttered after he finishes using it, or when he brings you an incomplete "cefane" that could be hard for you to make food with, how do you react? Do you reveal your dissatisfaction in rage? But these little wrong things are going to happen, and the worst even, but many of us are not ready to handle them.
In your home, your wife will not always take bath, or dress in a way that you used to see her before marriage. And most of men have been attracted to a woman simply for that reason, that she knows how to dress to please, which means she's a fish, always in water, and like a queen always looking after her body and her looks. But you will come to realize that she is not what you think, she's as simple as your sister at home, some days she won't take bath but very sluggishly, and some days she won't remember to wear any make-up, she's just tired. How would you feel? Would that change your feelings about her? Would that make you treat her less? Or would that even push you to start looking at other girls outside?
Men during courting have a way of dressing and meeting their women, it's always elegant and great. Their girls feel very happy and proud that they have good-looking guys to show. And this doesn't die, these girls carry it to their marital homes, wishing that the guys would never appear less. But it's not happening like that. The wife doesn't take long to be disappointed, because her husband cannot always dress for her. She'll come to realise that the man has so much to do than dressing. Some days, he looks very unkempt. It's a marriage, she fails to understand, not a period of dating and courting when he tries to get her. This is not a justification for the husband to not dress well and look good, but it's only that the wife has to understand that the man can fail to do what she used to expect from him. Will that have to change how she feel about him? Will this be a reason for her to start comparing him with other men? Will she have to be dissatisfied?
Forget all these matters. Not that they're not important. But how will you feel when your spouse spits a saliva on the wall of your bedroom because he or she can't get up; or blow their nose in their clothes, or even smell in an uncomfortable way because of one reason or another? It may seem nothing to you now but you know you don't like things like this. It irritates you. And the person whom you always think is exempted from doing such is your spouse because before you got married to them they never appeared to do that. You all thought it would be ashamed to do that. And now your spouse will do that, again and again.
There are many guys that think the girls they date are NOT going to "toilet" to "p*o" or "pee". They don't excrete at all. Because they think someone so beautiful as my girl can hardly have anything with "toilet". And because we never knew that before marriage, we marry them with that stupid thinking. A lame delusion. And some men feel disappointed when they find out that they have been wrong all this while, that the girls do also go to the toilet, and even disturb the peace of the place, either with their running p*o, or groaning as they try to ease themselves. I'm sorry for being so raw here, there are just some men that easily begin to look down at their wives because of knowing this. And some women find it disgusting when they hear their men make "noisy sounds" in the toilet, and the men don't understand why. And it's astonishing that both of the get dissatisfied over this. Whether it's a man getting disappointed to know his Miss Beauty enters toilet, or a woman finding it disgusting to hear her Prince crying to ease himself, both of them are just wrong.
The problem doesn't lie with the man or woman, but with our perception about one another that's very narrow and unfair. It's all because of our infantile imagination about the people we want to marry, that they must not be anything that we find normal and ordinary, that they should not be fallibe, foolish human beings. The problem lies with us and yet we come to dislike our spouses for being humans simply because before we marry them we never saw, heard or knew much about them.
Well, your spouse will fail. Will cry. Will laugh. Will frown. Even when and where you don't expect them to. Sometimes they can't control. They can smell, fart, spit. Because they're tired of hiding. And they can go to toilet, vomit, and fail to cleanse themselves regularly. Etc. They can do a lot of things that you never got to know about them before marrying them. They will get sad and angry. And they will do so in front of you, whether you like it or not. Rich husband can get broke or even become poor, beautiful wife can look ugly, so so ugly in "look". Things change over time. And all these conditions that are bound to happen are not expected to bring "chaos" and "hate" into a marital life. Of course you may not like the conditions but they're part of the human nature to which we all belong.
And there are two curious questions that bother me alot that, will man really value a woman, or a woman respect her man when they failed to get what they had expected from one another before they got married even when those expectations are not essential to the stability of the marriage? Because, it seems like, in this time, our personalised, selfish "expectations" are what determine the success or failure of our marriages. And is it only the moments of "romance" that hold marriage for a lifetime or there is something else?
I greet you, Mr/Mrs Unmarried, you're special. I pray you marry. Whom you love. Soon. And enjoy it while it lasts. Stay safe.
Deleted
Deleted
4 years ago
