Siaran41

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced Up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took The seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?” She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston." He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs! Struggling to ma… Baca lagi

A Doctor recently had a patient “drop” in on him for an unscheduled appointment. “What can I do for you today?” the Doctor asked. The old gentleman replied: “Doctor, please help me. Every time I make love to my wife, my eyes get all bleary, my arms go weak, I can hardly catch my breath… Doctor, I’m scared!” The Doctor, looking at his eighty five years old patient, said: “Mr. Atkins, these sensations tend to happen over time, especially to a man of your advanced years, but tell me, when did you first notice these symptoms?” The old gentleman’s response was: “Well… four times last ni… Baca lagi

A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. “What’s up?” he says. “I’m having a heart attack,” cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he’s dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says “Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted’s hiding in your closet and he’s got no clothes on!” The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on… Baca lagi

A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved 3 year-old grandson. It's obvious to her that he has his hands full with the c***d screaming for candy in the candy aisle, cookies in the cookie aisle; and for fruit, cereal and pop in the other aisles. Meanwhile, Granddad is working his way around, saying in a controlled voice, "Easy, William, we won't be long, easy, boy." Another outburst, and she hears the granddad calmly say, "It's okay, William, just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there, boy." At the checkout, the little terror is throwing i… Baca lagi

OLD WOMEN!!!! SHE WALKED UP AND TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE HITCHING POST. AS SHE STOOD THERE, BRUSHING SOME OF THE DUST FROM HER FACE AND CLOTHES, A YOUNG GUNSLINGER STEPPED OUT OF THE SALOON WITH A GUN IN ONE HAND AND A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY IN THE OTHER. THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER LOOKED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND LAUGHED, "HEY OLD WOMAN, HAVE YOU EVER DANCED?" THE OLD WOMAN LOOKED UP AT THE GUNSLINGER AND SAID, "NO, I NEVER DID DANCE... NEVER REALLY WANTED TO." A CROWD HAD GATHERED AS THE GUNSLINGER GRINNED AND SAID, "WELL, YOU OLD BAG, YOU'RE GONNA DANCE NOW," AND STARTED SHOOTING AT THE OL… Baca lagi

THE PARROT SPEAKS During a lull between the speeches at the recent presidential swearing-in ceremony, Melania Trump leaned over to chat with the Secretary of State, Rex Tillerson. "You know, I bought Donald a parrot for Christmas. That bird is so smart, Donald has already taught him to pronounce over two hundred words!" "Wow, that's pretty impressive," said Tillerson, "but, you do realize that he just speaks the words, ...he doesn't really understand what they mean." "Oh, I know," Melania replied, "Neither does the parrot."… Baca lagi

The inventor of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven." Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God." St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God. Arthur then asked God, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of woman?" God said, "Ah, yes." "Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major desi… Baca lagi

Subject: Flight An airplane was about to crash. There were 4 passengers on board, but only 3 parachutes. The 1st passenger said, "I am Steph Curry, the best NBA basketball player. The Warriors and my millions of fans need me, and I can't afford to die." So he took the 1st pack and left the plane. The 2nd passenger, Donald Trump, said, "I am the newly-elected U.S. President, and I am the smartest President in American history, so my people don't want me to die." He took the 2nd pack and jumped out of the plane. The 3rd passenger, the Pope, said to the 4th passenger, a 10 year… Baca lagi

-- A woman in a hot air balloon realized that she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a field below. She shouted down to him, "Excuse me. Can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am." The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 fe... et above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude." She rolled her eyes and said, "Well, you must be an Obama Democrat." .........… Baca lagi

Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking. Arlene: What in the hell is that? Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet. Arlene: Where did you get it? Jane: You can get them at any pharmacy. The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local pharmacy and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), b… Baca lagi

1981 & 2005 - Two Interesting Years Interesting Year 1981 1. Prince Charles got married. 2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe . 3. Australia lost the Ashes. 4. The Pope died. Interesting Year 2005 1. Prince Charles got married. 2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe .. 3. Australia lost the Ashes. 4. The Pope died. Lesson to be learned: The next time Charles gets married, someone should warn the Pope.… Baca lagi

Many years ago, during my married days, just prior to my divorce. . . I accidentally overturned my golf cart. Elizabeth, a very attractive and keen golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out: "Are you okay, what's your name?" "It's John and I'm okay, thanks," I replied, as I pulled myself out from under the cart. "John, she said (firm, loose breasts moving beneath her white, silky robe): "Forget your troubles. "Come to my villa, rest a while and I'll help you get the cart up later." "That's really nice of you," I answered, "but I d… Baca lagi

A seven year old and a four year old were just getting up one morning when the seven year old decides," I think we are big enough that we should start swearing. So when we go downstairs for I'll swear first and then you take a turn". "Okay", says the four year old. When they get to the kitchen Mum says, " What would you like for breakfast? " I'll have some cocoa puffs Bitch " says the seven year old. "WHACK"! He fly's out of his chair landing on the floor crying his eyes out. Mum looks at the four year old and says sternly, "and just what will you have?" "I don't know, but for sure I… Baca lagi

A couple was invited to a swanky costume party. Unfortunately, the wife came down with a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. Being a devoted husband, he protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need for his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain and, as it was still early enough, decided to go to the party. Since her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would hav… Baca lagi

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farm house and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night. "I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained, "and I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house." "Not to worry," Jack said, "we'll be happy to sleep in the barn, and if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first… Baca lagi

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter. The pharmacist at the counter asked the older boy, 'Son, how old are you?' 'Eight', the boy replied. The man continued, 'Do you know what these are used for?' The boy replied, 'Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four." "Oh, really?" the pharmacist replied with a grin. "Yes." the boy said. "We saw on TV that if you use these, you would be able to swim, play tennis and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do none of those."… Baca lagi

“There was a man who had worked all of his life and has saved all of his money. He was a real cheapskate when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, ‘Now listen, when I die I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. Because I want to take all my money to the after life.’ So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died she would put all the money in the casket with him. When one day he died.” “He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black… Baca lagi

She Had Trouble Getting On The Bus, But Was Shocked When The Man Behind Her Did This As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. She tried to take the step, only to discover that she couldn’t. So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more… Baca lagi

This is what happens when your c***d is exposed to too many commercials on TV. A Baptist pastor was presenting a sermon. During the sermon, he asked the c***dren if they knew what the resurrection was. Now, asking questions during c***dren's sermons is crucial, but at the same time, asking c***dren questions in front of a congregation can also be very dangerous.Having asked the c***dren if they knew the meaning of the resurrection, a little boy raised his hand........ The pastor called on him and the little boy said, "I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours yo… Baca lagi

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. ---The next day, the k**s came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular types of stuff: Spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share?" "Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and… Baca lagi