Hey! Great comment! Much to unpack and consider in that paragraph. I'm pleased by your recognition, your admission ... that you are a complex, at times contradictory, creature---being human, after all---a creature who cannot, and will not, be reduced or defined by a few stale cultural stereotypes. Good for you! It takes some courage to defy convention and remain true to yourself. Especially when it comes to sexual identity. Ps Dominants are always also latent or secondary, Submissives, just as Voyeurs are also Exhibitionists Sadists also closeted Masochists, and so on. I myself, spent decades living life as a Dominant Ass Master. That is no longer how I identify, however. The script has flipped! These days, I play the Slave. To everything there is a seaseon, right?
I'm a 6'3" 310 lbs soft smooth kind light skinned black cute big bootied and big lips gentle secret coward and wimp who has had a biannual submissive event where I let smaller or white men pound me and my woman in the ass like this and let them stay with us for up to a month and my wife loves it and I love it too and I love being bullied and used and she does too.
Having been a devoted sexual anarchist and sodomaniac my entire life, I share your philosophical approach to ass fucking. Asia is certainly #1 on my bucket-list.
Each role---that of the Dominant, that of the Submissive---can deliver sexual ecstasy. My personal experience leads me to believe that, although each of us seem to prefer one role over the other, in actuality, because each of us possess both the qualities of the Dominant and the qualities of the Submissive,, intelligence (rather than personal inclination) chooses the role that best fits the situation within which we find ourselves. Depending on the circumstances, intelligent choice will frequently lead us to act in a manner to which we are disinclined, playing a role which is our least favorite (yet, is the most effective). The silver-lining here is that the rest of the time our natural, innate preferences, inclinations and biases will also be the best fit and most effective role we can play...under the circumstances. In closing, I would suggest that the difficulty deciding which role---his or hers---to play, when both roles are valid and valued, when both are necessary, is due to the loss of options, the loss of freedom, that comes with such a choice...either that or maybe its because He positively tears Her ass up! LOL...What the hell do I know!